Twitter: Futility Of Gagging A Little Watchdog Bird

Twitter: Futility Of Gagging A Little Watchdog Bird

Ignoramus. I am certain you don’t know ‘Ornithology’. How then would you grasp “Ornithological’, a jaw-broken expression than the former? Clumsy fellow. There is no twaddle you do not write or say.

Do you tweet? I am not a Bird that tweets.  That is to say, you’re old-fashioned. Always behind time. It goes to justify what I said earlier that you’re so uninformed. Why is tweeting driving you nut, Mr. Too Know (MTK)? Mr. Tweet Nothing (MTN), your Baba President is at it again. What is he at? Numerous wrongs I can’t sum with my fingertips. Oh! That he sanctioned MTN again? MTN? That is your wrong imagination.

‘Ornithology’ and ‘Ornithological’. Have the two words worsened your mental ill-health degeneration? ‘Ornithology’ is the study and watching of Birds, while ‘Ornithological’ qualifies it. I know you are a crazy Birdwatcher. I dislike your Birds and their chi…chi…chi tweets. A year ago, your swarms of little Birds consumed my rice farm.

Like your Baba, who banned it, because his account was deleted by Twitter. His Justice Minister, Abubarkar Malami, even threatened the hellfire at violators of the harsh ban. Your prisons will have been over-congested if he made good his threats. Nasir El Rufai, the diminutive ‘basket mouth’ governor, flouted the ban, luring others to defy its ban.

I am overjoyed with the ban. Good riddance to your nonsense. How I wished the ban included mobile telephone calls and other social media platforms’ usage. That done, all your parroting nuisance would have ended by now. The ban will have caged your loquaciousness and twaddle writings. You would be nothing but a ‘caged Canary Bird’ that sings no redemption song, but monotony.

Your Baba President complained of double standard that Twitter banned him but ignores Nnamdi Kalu, despite his worst secession and hate tweets. I accept only the caged Birds if they sing the songs I like to hear. Baba takes it so.

Resurrecting the Baba’s fettering Decree 24 of 1985 and its free speech flaw. This Twitter ban has resurrected all that. But, your Baba, Malami, El-Rufai and you were tweeting fanatics because it gave you global visibility

Now, aren’t you the man who calls pig a taboo but would readily offer his teeth to share its meat? Why the coup against million Nigerian twitters? Must your Baba cause other Nigerians to suffer his ‘de-tweeting’ fate?

Baba does not tweet. Tweeting and social media are junks reserved for lazy youths. Who knows? The tweeting ascribed to him might be the handiwork of some jobless hackers. Oh! Femi Fani-Kayode is vindicated! He uttered that your Baba can’t tweet let alone have time for it. That Femi Adesina, Garba Shehu and Lauretta Onochie, the pepper-eating Bird of a lady, are behind the Baba’s tweets. Did you say your Baba’s presidency officially set up a Social Media Department, under Onochie, whereas you called it a junk?

You have the little brain of a fish. A brain like a dot hidden in a circle! My Baba is a very busy man, who has no luxury of time for such juvenile deviation as tweeting.  But, the Senate President, Ahmad Lawal, Dakuku Peterside, the ex-NIMASA boss and other supporters of your Baba, blamed him for the ban, as “an avoidable battle he can’t win”. Why join recluse China, Cuba, North Korea and Iran etc. to earn the bad name of spoiler of democracy and free expression?

Twitter and its founder, Jack Dorey, last years, caused Nigeria huge losses by the EndSARS protests. Twitter cannot come from afar to our Ghana backyard and attack us at will. Can’t we fight it back? After all, Donald Trump, who once had the lips of a tweeting Bird, hailed Baba over the ban. But, Tweeter also expelled Trump over similar hate tweets. Why did your Baba have to wait until a year after EndSARS and his ban, before engaging Twitter over your so-called attacks? Ingrates. Twitter is being muzzled, used and dumped. Did it not assist your Baba to ascend to power twice?

There is no specimen the ‘West’ will not turn the world into. From single sex marriage to the Social Media cacophony, wherein a rude tiny Bird dictates. To watch how it has tumbles humankind!

Egoistical men, like you, unduly create the human vacuums swapped by lesser animals. Like the simple ants, animals now teach men simple queue and orderly habits. The Birds are not any different. They innately rue human failures and misdirection. Seemingly, the world is back to the Bible’s Noah and its human destruction narratives, with the Doves – having saved mankind and creations from total obliteration. Indeed, the Noah days and the Birds are here!

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