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Opinion

BAT & The Thirty Bishops Of Baal, By Adakole E. J

1. In the last year of the reigns of King Buha over the kingdom of Wazobia, it came to pass that the various camps who seeketh power in the kingdom searcheth for a man worthy to rule after him.

2. Then Bola the son of Tinubu, a great man of valour in the camp of APC declared unto the leaders of the camp thereof saying:

3. Hast my turn not come to reign over this kingdom? Appoint me this day, I beseech thee, that I mayest contest the throne upon this platform in fulfilment of thy covenant with me.

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4. But leaders of the camp thereof despiseth the son of Tinubu for they saith in their hearts he is a mean and stiff-necked man.

5. Then saith they unto him, wherefore seekest thou to ascend unto the throne? Art thou not a man full of age with weak bones and thy health faileth thee?

6. How beautiful shall it be if we anointest a wise and upright man of fewer years to rule after king Buha.

7. Then the son of Tinubu was greatly raged and he replied them according to these words saying, knowest not thou that with my very hands did I built this camp?

8. Verily verily I say unto thee, the same shall I pull down and render utterly dissolate until there remaineth no stone upon another if thou fulfileth not thy covenant with I.

9. And the leaders were greatly terrified by these words, then saith one man to the other, let us appoint the son of Tinubu this day lest he destroyeth this camp.

10. Then it came to pass that the camp of APC appointed Bola the son of Tinubu whom they call the Jagaban to contest the throne of the kingdom.

11. But when the time was come to anoint a deputy unto him, he searcheth to and fro the entire kingdom and declared unto the people saying, Kashim the son of Shettima hast found favour in mine eyes. He shall be my helpmeet.

12. But the Christians and many other inhabitants of the kingdom were vexed with great vexation at the hearing of this news. And they say, but how shall this thing be?

13. Is the Jagaban not a Muslim? wherefore choseth he another that practiceth Islam as deputy against tradition?

14. But the son of Tinubu remaineth unmoved and heedeth not to the wailings of the people.

15. And when the day that he mayest unveil his deputy unto the people drew nigh, then seeketh he the counsel of wisemen in the camp thereof saying:

16. How shall we bring our Christian brethren into the fold? lo, they are greatly raged.

17. And they counselled him in this manner saying, invite their highest leaders unto thy bosom even unto the unveiling ceremony, invite their Bishops.

18. For it shall come to pass that where the hearts of the Bishop is, there shall the heart of his congregation also be.

19. And this counsel pleased the Jagaban. But when he sent for the Bishops, they honoureth not his invitation.

20. And he said unto garment makers, make unto us thirty pieces of a bishop’s robe. And it was done according to how he commanded.

21. And when the day was come for the unveiling ceremony, he searcheth for thirty men of weaker virtues.

22. Then they made a covenant with them saying, we shall pay thee a hundred thousand shekels each if only thou shalt cast this robe upon thee and be presented as Bishops of the kingdom.

23. And these words were pleasant unto the men for it was a perilous time in the kingdom. In this manner they were presented at the unveiling ceremony.

24.Then news men of the city spake unto the men on Bishop’s robe say, art thou truly Bishops? Where are thy churches and from whence comest thou? But in all these, they spake not a word.

25. But when the ceremony was over, these men were only given thirty thousand shekels each. And they saith one man to the other, lo, the camp of APC dealeth treacherously with us. Then they departed with grumbling.

26. Then the church was vexed with great vexation saying, wherefore hast the Jagaban and his camp practiceth this grave evil against the body of Christ?

27. Woe unto thee for thou hireth false Bishops and desecrateth the institution of Bishopric.
But if only thou and all they counsel shall confess thy transgressions, eschew every deceit and turn away from thy evil ways, thy sins shall be forgiven.

28. But up till this day, the Jagaban and Shetima hardeneth their heart and repenteth not. And saith they unto the people, surely they were upcoming bishops that were yet unknown unto the people.

29. Then the son of man declared unto the people saying, lo, they are bishops of Baal.

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